I ticked a new country off of my list this week. I finally, finally (even though it’s ridiculously close and I have no excuse) went to the Netherlands. Amsterdam to be specific. I drove over from France, cutting through Belgium before entering the Netherlands and, given all of the laws and restrictions I faced in Australia just passing from one state into another, I was shocked and a little elated to realise entering another European country was as simple as driving 10 metres down a road past a sign. Crazy huh. No barriers, no searches, no forms, no checks. I just waltzed through three countries in one day without even having my passport scanned. The government probably thinks I’m still in Spain for frog’s sake.
This little jaunt into Amsterdam was very well-timed as the city had come out of a huge lockdown just a few days before. Things were open but still fairly empty. I’d checked the weather pretty much every hour in the few days leading up to this trip and everyday it said cloudy and rainy. Not my ideal weather for a place that’s meant to be so picturesque but hey, I’ll take what I can get. Amsterdam in the rain is still better than being at home doing nothing in January. Apparently it rains in Amsterdam like 60% of the time anyhow so at least I’m getting a realistic experience.
The first thing to be aware of when taking a trip to Amsterdam is that there is a ton of tourist tax. When you book accommodation, ensure you check whether these taxes are included in the price or whether they get added on at the end. I think it’s about 3E per person, per night, plus an extra 7% of the booking, so the places that look the best value, can quickly become expensive if you’re not careful. Even in January, I found Amsterdam was not as cheap as I was expecting: you’re still looking at at least 20E per night for a dorm bed, before taxes and fees. The best rated hostel (according to the hostelworld app) is super central and around that price, but I noticed it was possible for a couple to book a queen sized bed in a 32 person dorm-room. There is no way in hell I’m staying in a hostel that puts couples in beds together in a dorm room. That’s just basically giving them permission to perform a live sex show for the other backpackers in the room. No freaking thank you.
I ended up staying in the De Pijp district of Amsterdam, which was a little further out, but also had options where the price for accommodation (plus taxes and fees) was a little lower than in the centre. I have to say, I actually think this is a great area. It’s super near the main museums and only about a 30 minute walk to the central train station, or literally next to the tram line if you’re not a fan of walking. It also felt really trendy, with tons of shops and restaurants around. I feel like it would be a cool area to live – especially since Amsterdam is a cycling city and that 30 minute walk is easily converted into a 10 minute cycle. There are plenty of accommodation options though so I’m sure you’ll find something that suits.
So, we’ve already covered that it rains a lot in Amsterdam, that it’s a city where the predominant form of transport is bicycles, and that they add a tourist tax to accommodation. The other main things you should know are the following:
1) It has a sh*t ton of canals
They call it ‘the Venice of the North’ but you can’t take that too seriously, because it’s the third city I’ve been in recently that has claimed that nickname. It does, however, have a significant amount. People say Birmingham has a lot of canals (they’ve also used the whole ‘Venice of the North’ thing there too, but Birmingham’s canals are hidden and subtle. They don’t segregate the city the way Amsterdam’s do. Let’s be clear that Amsterdam is not Venice – as we’ve already established, cycling seems to be the main mode of transport in the Dutch capital, whereas in Venice, it’s literally boat. It has to be. They have canals instead of roads. Amsterdam isn’t like that, but the canals are significant and beautiful.
One of the most popular tourist activities is to take a canal boat tour of the city. Because the weather is notoriously bad for a lot of the year, most of the boats offering these tours are covered. This maybe sucks on a warm sunny day but is absolutely perfect if it’s too wet to take a walking tour but you really want to learn more about the city. I booked onto one of these for 15E which was a last minute discounted rate. I was actually a bit mortified to learn there were no other bookings and the boat was completely empty except for our party. Still, private boat tour. The tours tend to be an audio tour where you just plug in and listen to the narrative. The tables had a map on them, but the route wasn’t marked on the map, which I think would have been a basic but very helpful initiative for the boat company to invest in, since it took a long time for me to match the audio narrative with where on earth I was. Since the boat was so empty, I have the feeling that the skipper was less invested than usual. In fact, he was on video chat for a lot of the tour and we were definitely on a bit of a joy ride behind central station. There was one part of the audio narrative where he was meant to point out the infamous Anne Frank Annexe through the window and he was just chatting away about pineapples to his sister. Or something. Still, I had a great private tour (and luckily I had already located the annexe). I learnt a ton about the history of the canals and city – for instance, that the city of Amsterdam is actually named after the dam that was built on the river Amstel, and that the Dutch have already dealt with the issues of rising sea levels in a canal-heavy city – and got to see some of the most beautiful buildings all whilst escaping the rain.
2) Prostitution is legal
You may have heard of the infamous ‘Red Light District’ but did you know there are actually three different ‘red light districts’ within Amsterdam? The most famous is the central DeWallen district located in the oldest part of the city, which has been around since the 14th century. Apparently the harbour used to be located around this area so it became a central location for sailors to come aboard and drink in taverns and pick up girls. These days, Prostitutes can sell their wares but not on the streets themselves, which is why so many of the buildings are lit from the outside with the famous red lights, which highlight the workers within the windows. As well as purchasing these kinds of services, the red light district is famous for sex shows, museums and sex shops, as well as other risqué establishments. It’s worth noting that this area is known for being one of the most beautiful within the city, and is well worth a look, even if you have no intention in indulging in some of the arguably more sordid aspects of the district.
I visited in the daylight and was surprised to see girls in the window, even at 10 o’clock in the morning. I only realised they were there when my friend told me to be really careful taking pictures as, if any of the workers think they might be in the image, they can get very upset and even aggressive. Luckily I was aiming at the canal, and not the buildings, but it’s definitely something to be aware of if you want to avoid an awkward encounter here. The street was beautiful though. I’d have liked to have seen the area in the dark, just to get a feel for the atmosphere. I suspect it’s more tourists than actual proprietors who occupy the streets here (although there’s no rule saying that they must be mutually exclusive) but it felt a bit weird to see the girls in the harsh light of day, especially to occasionally see a man exit an establishment in full daylight. That may be more down to my British sensibilities than anything though, after all, the law here embraces that this is a natural part of human nature so who am I to assume that a cover of darkness is more suitable here. Still, it’s really not for everyone. If you visit, just be careful of pickpockets. Apparently it’s actually quite a safe area due to the established presence of police and hired bodyguards, but pickpocketing is still rife and not everyone is sober.
3) Cannabis is legal
Perhaps more famously than the laws surrounding prostitution, are the laws surrounded marijuana and other recreational drugs. You’ve likely heard about Dutch Coffeeshops and the fact that it is perfectly legal to buy and use cannabis in these establishments. This is true – there are some small technical elements to be aware of, but from what I understand you can buy up to 5 grams at a time, visit the same coffee shop up to twice a day and use cannabis you’ve bought elsewhere in any of the licenced shops. There are some rules about how much you can possess at any one time but it’s easy enough to find the rules if you look for them.
Note that there are coffee houses and cafes, as well as coffeeshops. If you’re new to the Netherlands, it might seem confusing but you’ll learn to identify weed cafes pretty easily. For one, all of the licenced establishments will have a sticker on the window – a rectangle that is cut diagonally across and is white on one side and green on the other, with the words ‘Coffee shop’ written on it. It’s placed somewhere obvious like the front window or door. For two, even though the coffee shops are not legally allowed to advertise that they sell cannabis, they get around this in other ways, such as the blatant naming of the coffee house (‘Smokeys’ ‘The greenhouse’ etc etc) or with cannabis leaf or Jamaican flag paraphernalia. Honestly, it’s not subtle. When in doubt, just sniff. The smell is pretty pungent. Also, if you are in a weed cafe, from what I’ve seen, there’ll usually be security on the door and a small counter where you can order before you actually get anywhere near the seating area. It surprised me a little to hear this, as I assumed you’d sit and could peruse a menu in a dark room (Okay, I based all of my prior knowledge of this on the scene in the movie Eurotrip which isn’t even set in a weed cafe. You know the one) but no, you have to order first and then head on upstairs to find a seat and order drinks. By all accounts, the staff are usually very knowledgeable though and happy to help. The thing you need to remember here though is that it is legal and profitable and they have a reputation to uphold. You’re not buying from a street dealer you’ll never see again but from somewhere that is subject to google reviews. What you purchase here is going to be much stronger than the joint you passed around a room between you and your 14 closest friends when you were 16 and thought you were a rebel. They can grow it, they can quality control it, they don’t have to sell it down back alleys and they cut out a lot of hassle and cost without all of that sneaking. Seriously, be careful with it. It seems like it would just be embarrassing to pass out in a corner.
Remember, just because you buy weed at the counter downstairs does not necessarily entitle you to take a table for several hours. Buy a drink. Some places also serve food. You usually cannot buy alcohol as the Dutch do not believe in mixing marijuana with alcohol. Do your research: some places are dark and sketchier than others, whereas some are modern and cool and feel like a 5 start restaurant. There are a lot of blogs on Google with suggestions of where to go so it’s easy to find somewhere. Coffeeshop Amsterdam is central and feels just like a normal coffeeshop apart from the counter downstairs. They have a huge selection and also sell some pre-rolled joints in case you’re not comfortable rolling your own. If you are, they have papers, filters and even some herbal leaves to mix in instead of tobacco. Note that it’s not cool to simply light up a cigarette and some coffeeshops don’t allow you to smoke joints with tobacco in at all. Just, please god, remember to bring a lighter. Nothing highlights you as a novice more than having to go back downstairs and ask for one at the counter, although I guess it would make a nice souvenir.
For those who prefer not to smoke at all, Boerejongens has several locations around the city and is well-known for it’s artisanal ‘Spacetry’ – i.e., cannabis in cake form. Forget about the classic brownie, these guys have you covered with all manner of culinary-cannabis delights from holiday themed edibles to lemon cakes to lava cakes to their red velvet cake – these sweet treats would not look out of place at a royal tea party. But be very careful with edibles. The packaging will say how much weed is in each one so don’t just eat an entire cake because that’s the measure they’re sold in. If you’re used to weed about 10mg is meant to be about right, but if you’re smaller of stature or just haven’t really had edibles before, go less. It takes 2 hours to kick in so start with a quarter of the cake and see how you are. Seriously, remember what I said earlier – this is not the space cake that the stingy students in the flat next door made when you were 19.
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Okay, now that we got the obvious stuff out of the way, let’s talk about the other cool things to do in Amsterdam in the winter. There are, of course, many many museums exhibiting different things around the city. One of the most popular is the Rijksmuseum filled with lots of art and history and can easily occupy the better part of a day whilst visiting Amsterdam but there are also many less traditional options: there’s the Van Gogh Museum, the Maritime Museum, not to mention the museum of Fluorescent Art, the Sex Museum, Erotic Museum, Torture Museum and Tulip Museum. As you’ve probably picked up from previous posts, I am not a museum person. I like them occasionally but they’re not my priority in a new city. Since I was only in Amsterdam for about 60 hours, I only went to one museum and that was the Anne Frank House. Normally you have to book your tickets literally an entire month in advance but due to the recent lockdown and the fact that it was January, there was a lot of availability and I was able to buy my ticket last minute.
I have read Anne Frank’s diary, but it was a long time ago and I don’t really remember much. It’s certainly not necessary to have read it before visiting the annexe where she and her family lived, hidden from the Nazi’s for several years during World War II – in fact they even sell copies in the gift shop in case you’re inspired to read it after your visit. It’s an audio tour, with an exhibition at the end, and you can take the tour in nine different languages. You begin in the factory which was still operational during Anne’s time in hiding, and which was directly below the annexe, meaning that the occupants had to whisper, tiptoe around, and not even use running water during working hours. The tour then takes you through the secret door and around the several rooms of the annexe, before you visit a small exhibition below, have the opportunity to watch two short videos and eventually exit through the giftshop. As I said when visiting war museums in Vietnam and Cambodia, I think there’s something very personal about the experience, and you’re much better off simply going there yourself than reading about my thoughts. As such, I’ll tell you that it was very poignant and emotional, and definitely worth visiting, but the rest you can decide on for yourself.
One thing that struck me, and I’m trying to find a sensitive way to say this as I’m aware it can come across as crass if I don’t get it right: it made me incredibly grateful that my generations’ great ‘world-changing-event’ is covid-19 (Note I drafted this post in early February – seems ironic now) . It has been tragic and horrific for many people, I know, and changed the way we live in the world in ways that are still being measured, but at least it was, at most, a result of human stupidity rather than human hate. I hope we never have to witness something like that.
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Usually I’d have a whole section on food when visiting a new country, but I’m not 100% sure what Dutch food is. I suspect (and from seeing Amsterdam I think I’m right) that Dutch food is like English food in that, there are of course, some traditional things you can have these days, but we don’t spend all of our time eating meat pies and potatoes and whatever other british stereotypes there are. They exist, but so do all of the international cuisines that have taken up a place and become popular in our cities. Amsterdam definitely had a really eclectic food vibe and although I tried appeltaart (maybe slightly too sweet for me) at the well-known Cafe Winkel 43 and had some poffertjes with icing sugar and butter (utterly delicious and I highly recommend) during my time in the city, my favourite place to eat in Amsterdam was, by far, Food Hallen, a huge open-plan building filled with food-truck-style stalls and various types of seating. It has a huge range of different cuisines and you can order from your table using the barcode, and staff will bring your food over to you. It’s also a great opportunity to drink some local beer. I drank a lot of Heineken whilst munching on a delicious Vietnamese style noodle bowl in this establishment but note that there is also the Heineken Brewery offering tours here in Amsterdam. They were closed when I was there so I didn’t go but it looked fun.
Brummie goes global 